The Lame List

It took Tiffany and I a while to compose our lame list, and it took me even longer (2 months approximately) to find it, refine it, and post it. But here it is in all its glory; the ten things I think are lame:

10. Wearing scrubs in public
9. Crocs; especially on men
8. Proximity to Russia proffered as a qualification to hold national executive office
7. "Muffin Tops" (that band of adipose tissue that protrudes from the top of overly tight, low- rise jeans paired with overly tight shirts and results from an apparent dearth of full length mirrors in Utah County)
6. White framed sunglasses on men
5. Russia
4. Iceburg lettuce
3. T-shirts worn under tanktops
2. "Native" pronunciations of place names ie) "Chilay" for "Chile"
1. The phrase "I've got news for you."

Last Aruba Pictures

Does posting the pictures late make the vacation last longer? Because I could really do with another kid-free trip to Aruba right now. Here Julie is overwhelmed by her pregnancy hormones and responds with an outburst of sisterly affection.

The Sandgrens.

All the sisters together. Check out the sassy poses.

Did You Just Say What I Think You Said?

We were having dinner with some Russian friends of ours last week. I was eating with the adults while Andrew was eating with the kids and trying to keep Ella from hurting herself or anything in the apartment. I thought I was following the conversation pretty well until I thought I heard Ludmila ask me if I thought she was getting fatter. I thought, "I must not have understood. Maybe 'tolstaya' has more than one meaning, or maybe she's asking me if she's lost weight or something. Sometimes missing one word can throw me totally off base." So I asked for clarification. She responded by puffing out her cheeks and asking me again, with smaller words, if I thought she was getting fatter. Then her husband nodded and said, "Don't you think she is?" Years of being alive have taught me that there is only ever one correct answer to this question, besides which, I have to confess, I haven't really been keeping track of Luda's weight, so wouldn't have been able to answer honestly if I had wanted to. "No. I don't think you look fatter." Her husband said, "Are you sure? I think she does." I affirmed my initial answer and he shrugged in response. Then the conversation moved on to how fat Americans are and how even Russians who go to America for a few weeks come back unrecognizably fatter. Then I started wondering if they thought I was fat since I was an American, but I decided to just focus on understanding what was being said. But afterwards, when I had time to reflect, I had to wonder if there were some cultural underpinnings I'm not aware of. Is the topic of a woman's weight discussed so casually in mixed company? And does a prudent husband try to persuade a third party observer that his wife really is packing on the kilos? I know in some South American cultures they just tell it like it is by using the most visible attribute as a title for strangers on the street. Terms like "gordo," "flaco," "rubia," "viejo," or "whatever-o" are commonly used with total strangers. Maybe in Russia they discuss the obvious physical attributes at dinner parties too. I guess I'd better start paying closer attention to waistlines so I'll have the right answer next time.

First Hair Do

Last week we tried pig tails on Ella for the first time. First time doing anything with her hair, actually. She loved them so much, she didn't even pull them out (another first). Now everyday she asks for 'ti tils'.

I Read a Book and I Liked It

As an English major, I often find myself engaged in discussions with my sisters and friends about what we are reading. In fact, the question, "What are you reading" is usually one of my favorites to answer. That is, until a few weeks ago when we were out to dinner with one of our most literary couples, Kathryn and Stuart Snow, both voracious and discerning readers. when Stuart asked me the question, my face froze and a mixture of panic and dread sped from my chest to my face. I knew I couldn't lie, too many witnesses at the table knew the truth. For the first time in my life, the question drew a confession-- The Twilight Series. He was totally aghast. "Isn't that the one about vampires, written for kids?" I could only nod. "Those books are four, five hundred pages each. How many did you read?" My voice was barely audible, "All of them." Shocked, Stuart could only shake his head. "How many are there?" "Four." I tried pathetically to rally, "We just got back from Aruba. It was beach reading." "Fifteen hundred pages worth?" I shrugged, looking to my friend Melissa, with her ivy league credentials, an author herself on whose suggestion I started the series. She tried to defend me by taking the blame on herself. "It's my fault, I told her to read them." But I knew it wasn't really her fault. True, after feeling like maybe I was the only female member of the church who hadn't read the series, her suggestion did push me over the edge, but she didn't make me like it. Or read the whole series in less than seven days, or re-read my favorite parts. It's completely insubstantial fluff, like mental Doritos, maybe even capable of atrophying my brain, but I have to admit, the books were sort of addictive. Even though I recognized the shoddy writing, and my stomach turned at the melodramatic phrases like "His eyes did that smouldering thing again," or "Edward, you... you made me faint..." there was something about them that made them hard to put down. And sometimes, when Melissa and I are alone, we even talk about what we do or don't like about the books, as if there's any dimension to them whatsoever. I guess it ties into the whole high/low culture phenomenon-- the same person who enjoys Dostoevsky is allowed to enjoy a book about a vampire falling in love with a human who he happens to attend high school with-- so long as she know it's corny. At least that's what I keep telling myself. And Stuart doesn't need to know that I watch the movie trailer online or that Melissa and I are secretly emailing our local English-movie theater asking them to show the film when it is released next month.

Early Halloween

Today Ella is going trick or treating at the international neighborhood near Moscow. She is going as a kangaroo this year. She is especially escited about having a tail and a 'baby'. We have been trying the costume on periodically and practicing trick or treating around the apartment. Mostly because I want Ella to be able to have the stamina to last ten houses or so. And so I can eat all her candy.

Aruba Pictures

The vacation was almost a month ago, but that about matches my blog/post rate. Here is Doug, Dad and Kim admiring the conch shell we discovered while snorkeling. Kim is exhibiting proof positive that he is, in fact, Ben's father.
For dad's birthday, we took a jeep tour of the island. Dad got to drive our jeep. He really enjoyed it.
Tessa thoroughly enjoyed the very rough ride. She slept almost the whole time she was in the car.
Even with so many seats, it was a little crowded, but our vacations are all about getting closer...

6 Quirks

A few weeks ago my friend Carrie called on me to disclose six quirks about myself. It took some thinking. Everything I do is so normal. I finally asked Andrew and he came up with a list longer than six in less than six minutes, so I guess I'm quirkier than I think. So here are my six, in no particular order:
1. I find Rowan Atkinson (aka Mr. Bean) attractive
2. I (apparently) slurp whilst drinking cocoa or eating cereal
3. I prefer carbonnated water to still
4. I get psychosomatic morning sickness whenever attempting to get pregnant, regardless of whether I actually am pregnant, or whether it acutally is morning
5. I somambulistically remove clothes while sleeping
6. I eat candycorns with cheese, usually in some sandwich type formation

We also took the time to jot down some of Andrew's quirks, though the two of us together could barely get to six. He's much more normal (read: boring) than me.
1. Never uses the parking break
2. Spent ten days in Italy and ordered the same dish at every restaurant: Spaghetti with marinara sauce
3. Flosses before brushing
4. Sleeps with ankles crossed
5. Loathes hat hair
6. No matter the time fo day, he always brushes his teeth before leaving the house

Of course, as we were listing quirks, we couldn't help thinking of some possessed by one of my favorite people, my dad. We had way more than six, but here is the best of the list:
1. An adherent of the exercise regime of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police
2. Unable to distinguish between people treats and dog treats (or people treats and bath beads sometimes)
3. Can eat several pounds of licorice in a single sitting without noticing
4. (despite the above mentioned) Successfully maintains his weight within 8 pounds of his high school graduation weight
5. Never checks luggage
6. At 59 is thrilled to be driving his dream car, a 2006 Toyota Corolla

So now I'm supposed to name six more people who are likewise to list six quirks about themselves. I don't think six people actually read this blog, so I don't know how effective it will be, but here goes. I nominate: Suzanne, Dan (Ashley already did hers), Jameson, Wendy, Elisa and Scott.

Last week in US

Tessa really knows how to relax in her stroller. She'll sit like this for hours.
Ella really, really loved Grandma Sandgren's dog, Sassy. She's just the right size for her. Sassy on the other hand, did not really love having Ella around.
Nate, Tessa and Alyson dropped us off at the airport. We had some extra time, so we waited while she tried to buy Tessa's infant ticket for Aruba. Nate used the carry-on baggage sizer to open up a McDonalds. Ella was an eager customer.

5th Sunday

We have a member of our branch who has been the inspiration for the last three 5th Sunday lessons. The first lesson topic was: As head of the family, a man should make some financial contribution to the household. This topic was received with much trepidation and wonder from the male sector of the branch. The lesson didn't say that men should be the sole financial support, that would be asking a lot from this culture, just that if his wife is providing the apartment he lives in and all the money he spends, he maybe think about getting an actual job and helping out a little. This lesson procured a lot of philosophical remarks about how "support" is a broad term that encompasses all aspects of a relationship, especially emotional and spiritual support, and how spiritual and emotional support are actually more important than mere financial support. Ironically, the member who inspired the lesson made the last comment along these lines. The second lesson topic was: If you've seen Jesus or an angel, you should keep that information to yourself. Again, the topic was received with surprise. Unfortunately, my russian isn't good enough to know if these experiences are still being widely shared in our branch. The third lesson topic was: If you've ever been clinically dead for any amount of time, please try not to use your experiences from the other side to speculate about the doctrine of spirit prison. You might think that a member with these sorts of issues would be an outlyer-- not in our branch. He's one of the most active and stalwart members, and these attributes certainly don't make him unique from the other members.

The boyfriend shirt

My college roommate, Wendy Bennion, has a son, William, just one week older than Ella. Neither of them have ever shown much interest even in playing together, and they have only met twice, but I thought it was cute that Ella wanted to wear William's shirt at church.

Odds and Ends

If I had known how much Ella would have liked the Sea Doo, I would have taken her on it earlier. She didn't seem to mind the speed. I think she enjoyed feeling the wind in her hair.
Every few years we spot a bald eagle in this area, fishing. This year there were two.

The Last Cabin Pictures

We celebrated Eliza's birthday at the cabin. Ella gave Eliza a belly-dancing sash, one of her favorite dress-up items that she received from Elena. Even the baby couldn't resist the jangles.
Nate's definitely man enough to pull this off.
Mom and dad enjoying a relaxing ride on the Sea Doo, probably contemplating whether or not to tear down the cabin.
Ella liked the hat a lot better than she liked multiple sunscreen applications. I take pride in her skin being almost two years old and still never knowing a sunburn. It helped that we usually didn't make it down to beach until after she woke up from her nap at 2pm or so.

So Tired

The kids all played so hard every day that they couldn't quite make it through the evenings' entertainments. Here are pictures taken at the tail end of the variety show.
Nate is the most discreet.
eliza has had enough.
Julie is thinking Dalton is a little big to be cradled like this.
Even Ben, the self-proclaimed "almost adult" couldn't last through the last numbers.
But then, neither could all the adults...

Beach Fun

The kids built themselves a posh hottub to enhance their beach day-spa that they created. Most of the treatments were a variation on a mud theme.
Ella really liked little Tessa.
Nate got worn out by so much fun in such a short time.
Nate wasn't the only one who had more fun than he could handle.

Brinton Store

Even though Ella never earned any "Brinton Bucks", she enjoyed shopping at the store.
Nate's special talents.